There was a truck driver, driving his semi truck down the highway. You know the type of truck that has a big sleeper in the back of the cab. It was about 10:30 in the morning on a Friday, trying to decide what he was going to do for the weekend. He also has a big beautiful African Grey Parrot on his right shoulder and they were having a conversation and enjoying the drive that day. This bird is very intelligent and has over 500 word vocabulary. The parrot even throw's in some profanity occasionally, but nothing to offend anyone. They were thinking that they were at a point that they though that they were going to have another one of those boring weekends alone or just at the local bar. It was a beautiful cool summer day and they have been driving for about 3 hours, when all of a sudden they saw a beautiful short hared blonde hitch hiking on the side of the road. The blonde had very short blue jeans' shorts on where you could almost see up into her unknown with a short hung red tank top. So the truck driver pulled over to the side of the road and stopped right in front of her. He reached over and opened the door for her and asked her "Do you need a ride?" Very sexily the blonde said yes. Then the truck driver stated that, I have one rule which is if you don't fuck you don't ride. The blonde then looked at him and stated that she is not interested and will pass. Then the truck driver shut the door and took off down the road.
About 100 miles later at about 1:00 P.M. there was a beautiful brunette with hair half way down her back, hitch hiking on the side of the road. She was wearing a knee height red skirt that was blowing in the cool summer breeze which you could almost see more of her legs and a tan blouse that was tied in a knot just below her breasts with her thumb out, in need of a ride. So the truck driver pulled over so the truck stopped in front of her and he proceeded to reach over and opened the passenger door of the truck, and as she walked up to the truck he asked her "Do you need a RIDE?" with a big grin on his face. This girl was very cute gazing up at him in the truck he proceeded to tell her that I have one rule which is if you don't fuck you don't ride. The brunette said OK, that's not a problem so she got into the truck. The truck driver was very surprised by this. They took off down the road driving for hours having a great conversation especially with his parrot, and the truck driver was very enthusiastic by this time.
The sun was starting to go down and they were getting a little road weary, so they pulled over at the next truck stop that they came to for a little rest, and fun and games__ So they both proceeded into the sleeper area and started to get hot and heavy. The brunette stated that she would do anything he wanted, but not with that parrot on his shoulder or anywhere near her. So he pulled his pants back on and took his parrot to the back of his truck where the cargo was kept and put the bird into the trailer part of the truck. He got back into the truck and they did their thing all night long with some rest in at times.
The next morning as sunrise the truck driver was feeling very good (of course) and they got back on the road early so they could reach their destination. About 100 miles later he looks in his rear view mirror and sees cop trying to pull him over. The truck driver couldn't understand what was going on since he was very happy and was not trying rush by not speeding. With a big question on his mind he pulled over and asks the police man what was the problem was, and stated that, he wasn't speeding. The police stated," No that is not the problem, but I have been trying to catch you for the last 25 miles. Well you see there is a bunch of chickens on the road behind you and" The truck driver with his right hand slapped his forehead and said oh my god, and ran to the back of his truck. He opened the back door of the truck, and saw his African Grey Parrot standing there throwing chickens out the back of the truck, saying to each one as he throws the chicken out of the truck._..
IF YOU DON'T FUCK YOU DON'T RIDE__.
